Tuesday. 28th October.

Granola & All-Bran. Yakult. 

4 Nutella Crackers. Apple & Strawberry Yogurt.

3 Handfulls Chocolate Raisins.

Spaghetti Bolognese.

Kimberly Biscuit. Snack Pack of Crackers.

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Monday. 27th October.

Granola & All- Bran. Yakult.

Apple. Pear. Pecan Plait.

Spaghetti Bolognese.

Kimberly Biscuit.

Jiggle on the waist… Be Gone.

What is it about junk food that makes us want to eat it?


I don’t know. But I freaking eat a lot of it. If you don’t? Fair play! I admire ya, go on, give yourself a pat on the back!

I was eating a Kimberly biscuit last night. There dacent aren’t they?! I enjoyed the crap out of that biscuit. *nom nom* But… I wondered… Why do I enjoy this sugary fatty food so much? WELL. Basically, it is tasty, it is sweet, it smells good & makes me happy. So why the fudge not? Well, because what is the after math? I feel sluggish, flumpy (yes like a marshmallow) & also know I have done damage to my waistline & my teeth. So why don’t I just not eat it and have, let’s say, crackers, fruit, vegetables that I like as much instead? I honestly don’t know. It’s like our mind is playing games with itself…Well Screw you! I’m going to win!

What is it in our brains that lead us to temptation, even though we know way in advance we will not be happy in the long run? I guess ‘enjoying life&& ‘treating yourself’. Are we really treating ourselves by damaging our bodies though? No. I believe otherwise. I believe we are feeding our emotions and our lifestyle habits.

Sometimes I am stuck in bed all day with back pain. It is oh so easy to make it through a full bag of peanut M & M’s if you are lying in your bed all day. Trust me. If I was out working in a clothing shop, or as a waitress? I wouldn’t have time to snack on things like this. So what have I learned from this epiphany? (after trying on my clothing from a year ago & not being able to fit it passed my thunder thighs) is that I need to keep busy. If i am stuck in bed for the day? I need to keep busy in bed. No..Not what your thinking. I need to read, to write for my blog, to start editing. All these? Can be done from my bed. So there we go. Next time I feel myself giving into temptation of eating 12 Custard Creams laying in bed at 3am wide awake? I will write. . . Maybe have some crackers…aaaand one custard cream. Let’s be honest, one ain’t so bad.

Do you think you eat out of boredom? Well if so. How great is it that instead of doing that? You can now come up with an idea to be more productive with your life? Be it watching a interesting historical film, reading a book, or even having some down town meditation time. Whatever your into eh? If it’s chains & whips that excite you? Please keep that to yourself ;)

Be Happy. Be Healthy. Be You.

 

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Sunday. 26th October.

Mince Pie. 

Mince Pie.

Apple & Pear.

Pain au Chocolate.

Cheesey Tomato Wholewheat Pasta.

4 Chocolate Roses, Fun Gum Jellies, Refresher Bar.

Saturday. 25th October.

Granola.

Iced Queen Cake.

Chicken/Stuffing/Bacon/Cheese Toastie. 

Mince Pie. 10 Chocolate Roses. Shit loads of Hunky Dory’s from a share bag.

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Friday. 24th October.

Cereal. Mince Pie. 

Subway 6 Inch Turkey/Ham/Cheese. Apple.

Handful of Chocolate Raisins.

Chicken Wing. Mince Pie. Frisps.

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Thursday. 23rd October.

Cereal.

Bread & Mince ‘sloppy Joe’

Frisps. Apple.

Soup & bread.

Connected. It’s Nearing An End. Wah!

So my final day of filming was Sunday the 19th October. Poo.


I switched off the camera for the Final time & was kind of like. Well….*sigh* *tumbleweed rolls*What do I do now?!

Lots of things!  I have many things I can do. I learned a lot about myself through this experience. I enjoy being in front of && behind the camera. So I want to pursue that type of work if I can get into it. I would love to create music video’s, but we’ll leave that for a while. That can on my bucket list eh?

photo31At the beginning of the filming? I thought that I would be paranoid & really nervous about being in front of the camera. I wasn’t though, why? I was the one choosing when to and when to not turn on the camera. I turned it on whenever. At the beginning these questions played over in my mind, as its always in over drive  “What if I look like crap on the Tele?” “What if I shame the family?” “What if I look repulsive?” Sure feck it. Feck it! If I look repulsive? That’s how I look and there’s nothing I can do to change that, that’s me. So I went for it && really enjoyed the whole camera experience.

There’s about 9 or 10 more episodes to go on RTE 2 && then CONNECTED is fully ovaaa! *sadface*

So far I have watched half the series. All the responses have been really interesting to hear, whether people enjoy/hate/admire/loathe the show. I still enjoy hearing about it. Honestly. Every view point has a reason.

I have heard some people say :

“That Alanna one is too young to be on the show” I am 21 & have lived independently for myself since the age of 18 & feel I wanted to get people to understand suicide a bit better, to understand it’s not just you who has a illness that a lot of specialists blow off as something else, and that losing someone is not the end of your life.

“Hutchy hates you” No. No he doesn’t. He did not have to take part in this experience with me. But, it was my work for a year and he supported me through it all. He was honest. I asked him “do you think we will stay together if you finish college/move away?” He said. “he doesn’t know” I agree, fair answer. Simples, as the Meerkat would say.

“Can I just say iv watched 4 episodes in a row of connected and you are one of the bravest people iv’e ever seen. #ItsOkNotToBeOk”  Thank you. Thank you for saying that. I really appreciate these kinds of messages. Truly. Maybe it will inspire people to talk to someone about how low they feel, if they feel low & think suicide is the only route. They might realize its not if they see how one left behind is affected? Maybe one will think twice? I hope.

So here is a list of a few goals of mine for my month of freedom to come : (i’ll try reach at least 4/5) :

  • Get my Provisional License
  • Get 1 or 2 Driving Lessons
  • Swim twice a week
  • Do my exercises for my back/hip pain daily.
  • Try maintain my Fybromyalgia by reducing stress & Anxiety. 
  • Write a blog entry once a week.
  • Try get a job where I don’t put pressure on my back. A sit down job? 
  • Write short stories. 
  • Draw/Sketch a picture once a week.
  • Listen to a new Artist once a week. 
  • Start Vlogging. Youtube?
  • Visit a Family member once a week.
  • Ring my Granddad once a Week.
  • Spend a night with my roomies.
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Hutchy && I <3

 

Yup, This video below now means I can never get embarrassed again.

 

 

Wednesday. 22nd October.

All Bran & Raisins.

Cheese & Chicken Sandwich. Portion of Pringles.

Lasagna & Garlic Bread.

€1 worth of jellies & 2 Freddo’s. Lucozade.

Tuesday. 21st October.

Pain au Raisin.

Cheese Toastie. Chicatee’s. Handfull of Chocolate Raisins.

Apple & Banana.

Refresher Bar & Feast Ice Cream.

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