Dad, A Daughters First Love.

The following is what I read out the morning of dad’s funeral.

My dad is who we are all here for today. I would like to say what kind of a man he was for those who did not know him very well. Kevin Diggin was and is his name. He was a caring, considerate, good natured, warm hearted, giving, selfless, nurturing, understanding and a very very gentle man.

All my memories of him from my childhood and as I grew up are not possible to some up in one word, but if I could, Id say, brilliant. My dad was my idol. He done anything & everything for me, and I mean everything. Some of my favorite memories were when we went and played handball together. He always believed in everything I done, no matter what it was or how crazy I sounded. He was a inspiration. He treated everyone with respect, always, and he was always right, about the important things anyway, mind you we clashed a lot, were both very alike & very stubborn.

My brother & my grandad & baby Jack were the 3 most important men in his life & he influenced them all. He was a great role model for Theo & i am so proud of how Yental Theo and I turned out. My father will also live on in my amazing brother Theo. Theo is the best brother I could have & the most amazing son my dad could have. Little Jack is going to be the 1 I go to to smile with, my dad will live on in him also. Everyone loved my dad, so many people, he had time for the ones who deserved it in life. He always made me feel like I was worthwhile. Grandad was always there for dad, dad loved my grandad Liam & spent every night with him, chatting about football & news & the days weather. Ill miss telling them both to be quiet downstairs. He said to say “he was a good son and a good friend”. Kathleen said “wonderfull father, son & brother and that we were all blessed”. Sharon said that “if is there is a perfect Kevin is it”.

I lost my mom over 7 years ago and without my dad I would not be as strong as I am now. He brought me up well and I am happy with how he raised me & wouldnt change anything. Over this last year or so I had never seen my dad happier than id ever imagine when he met a beautifull lady named Michelle. She made him happier than id ever imagine, sure, she got him to gout for dinner, go to concerts, go on holiday & wear posh looking clothing, ha ha. She brought out his best side & ill always be so gratefull to her.

But also over dad whole life he has struggled. He had been through a lot in his life & he was sometimes so confused. The way he died was a tragedy. I know it was not the man I knew & loved who done it. Suicide is painfull for all those left behind. There was a demon controlling his mind, he was not crazy, he had a mental illness. I had not seen my true father in a few months. There was a black cloud creeping over his beautifull self, controlling his every thought, he put himself under such stress, it was like a filter keeping out & ignoring all the positives. He was seeing and only listening to the dark and negative. He was very sensitive to stress. I tried to help him, as much as he helped me. I was in a dark place, he got me out of my dark hole, he stuck with me when I was ready to give up. I loved him for it. Ive been trying to help him so much. I ran out of things to say. He repeated the words “I cant” so many times, those are 2 words I dont want anyone to use, you can do what you want. Obviously things got to him so bad that he just couldnt handle it. On new years day I went to the beach with him for a walk, he gave me a hug & a kiss & said he loved me while looking me in the eye. He knew he was going to do it, and on some level I did too but I didnt know how to get him back, id already lost him. I will always remember my father as a inspirational loving man. I meant so much to him & he meant so much to many. I will always love him and remember him in one way everyone has been describing him as, which is perfect.

26-03-1964

02-01-2012

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