Myself and Men.

Well ;)

Huh. I dont know where I am going with this post. I just wanted to tell my schtory regarding myself and the relationships I have with the other gender regarding being more than friends, that would be men yes, the lovely fine species that they are. Irish men are the best. I swear I am female! I will not prove it, trust will have to do please.

I love New York!
I love New York!

Ya know when you have an embaressing moment regarding one thing and then it scares you off it ever again?? That was my experience when I was suppose to first ‘meet’ a guy. (that would be kissing) Otherwise now known in Ireland as ‘shifting’. I was 12 years old, in the library bathroom (classay) with a friend of mine who I fancied at the age of 12. Nothing serious I promise. But I stood there, like a confused puppy in a cage who wanted to escape, I stood there for a hour and couldnt go near him. The nerves took over my body and the heat was radiating from my body due to embaressment, I just left and said see you later. Smooth as Casanova eh?

After that I was just like when it happens it happens, fook it no big deal.

So I had my first proper kiss at the age of 17. I ended up going out with that person for about… 8 months? So I guess I am glad I waited until I had left school & pretty much dropped out of college to have my first kiss. Since that I have kissed 1, 2, 3, 4, other guys. By the age of 20, I had only ever kissed guys, and very few at that. Lovely guys who were all my friends.

Once I began seeing Hutchy, things moved forward. I am proud I waited until ‘a late age’ to go further and more serious in a relationship as that is who I truly am.

What was it that stopped me from doing anything more with a guy for a long time? I guess I just didn’t focus on it, to me it was never a big deal. At all. I wanted to wait until I was ready and actually wanted to have sex. I did not get influenced by people around me and never found age a factor, and still don’t. Sex, is a important thing in someone’s life, and was/still is a topic I get uncomfortable talking about to people in person. I DONT KNOW WHY! I just feel shy about the topic. I think its just who I am and ‘The Way I are’ as Timbaland would say. I waited for a guy I felt really comfortable with and know very well, and cared about because thats the way I wanted to go about it all. And I am delira. Whatever direction our relationship takes from here on out, I will always be happy with my choice.

Trying to take a cool photo. I loves me funky tights.
Trying to take a cool photo. I loves me funky tights.

But when you realize its a natural thing? And that we all are the result of sex? YES! Your parents made you! I feel I/We should become more open to talking about it and I hope to work on not making more silly awkard jokes. *tumbleweed rolls*Although I like the jokes I make sometimes, it makes me the strange bird I am.

Writing this kind of scared me as some may say it is too much to speak about? But writing makes me feel a bit like I have lifted a weight off these tight ass shoulders of mine. And I am going to do what I can to make this shitty body of mine thats slowly falling apart feel that bit better.

I love wearing flowers in my hair to brigthen up someone elses day
I love wearing flowers in my hair to brigthen up soemones day

2 thoughts on “Myself and Men.

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