Hai. So yeah.
I am currently a young 20 year old lady. Lady? Pssssh I’m not a ‘lady’. Girl so. Nah Woman…No..
Lady? No I tried that.
OK. I am going to stick with woman, now that I am getting older.
What does turning 21 even mean to me?
It means another birthday. It is another age I am turning. I don’t like my birthday. I don’t like knowing I am getting older and still always feel like I am not accomplishing much in my life as the years pass. When we were all younger, say when we were 13/14 I think we all thought by the age of 21? We would be finishing college, getting a job, driving, supporting yourself, living out of home, travelling, knowing what you want to do with your life. I am only a couple of those. Which isn’t to bad to be honest. Yet why is it I feel so behind in life? I have been very lazy in the last few years. These are the years we should all be doing as much as we can. So we get told by all our family and elders dare I say.
So I guess? I want to give myself a hefty kick up my behind && get to work on life things. I want to drive. I want to travel. I want to work. I want to gain skills. I want to learn! You don’t get what you want by sitting on your arse. Which I do a lot of… So I am going to get off my arse. Make a list of GOALS. By the end of this year I should have many new skills…Well…That’s the idea anyway.
21 in Ireland doesn’t mean much in the sense of being able to now drink alcohol or drive, or anything like that. It means it is a time of celebration with friends & family. I didn’t want to ‘celebrate’ this in a big way. I wanted to have four star pizza with 3 or 4 friends and watch a film. Which I have done for many birthday’s already. So for a change? My aunt & uncle are going to host a small BBQ with some very close friends & family.
The reason I didn’t want to celebrate? The one & only reason? I will miss my mom & dad being there. If there is a lot of attention on me & when I feel like I need support or like someone to be around, I always think of my dear daddy. He is who I will miss at the party. I didn’t want to have this party, as I fear I will be holding back tears when people sing me happy birthday as I wish he was there to celebrate. I don’t want to cry. If I do cry? It is now only going to be happy tears. Happy...Because of all the friends && family I have with me now. Happy I have such a great support system & such good friends that make me smile. So NOW, after accepting that is happening. I can honestly say I am looking forward to having too much cake that I feel sick with all those who have made a huge impact on my life 🙂
21. A age where I am going to grow & learn new things in this Mad World. Going to make this year one to remember.