I don’t think I enjoy nightclubs anymore, I don’t feel I do right now. For a few reasons. . .
Number one being that, I don’t drink alcohol, I have tasted here & there, but a sip at most. Being in a nightclub when one doesn’t drink alcohol can, well it get a bit tiring & extremely loud when it gets to one o’clock or there after, and a headache tends to appear by 2am. When the crowd are drunk? To me it seems like their sense of hearing lessens && shouting is the new way to communicate.
Number two being that, dancing with your friends or your new ‘best friend’ on a night out always sounds like it will be mad craic, you believe you will all look like Michael Jackson breaking a move, but in reality it looks like a bunch of penguins shuffling & marching around to their own beat on a block of ice. Some slipping here & some falling there. “Everyday I’m Shuffling“
Number three being that, I have severe back/muscle pain. Lately nerve pain/numbness is playing up and I have been refined to my for many days. Physically not able to move my legs without extreme effort. To be honest, being ‘out’ lately affects me mentally & physically. I get jealous of people dancing. What a horrible trait eh. The jealousy I feel? Therefore I feel guilty & ungrateful, and then I feel like a horrible selfish person. As I know if I dance? I will be paying for that in the form of excruciating pain in my muscles/spine for the next two days in bed regretting my decision to ever go out in the first place. Moaning Murtel so I am. I am so fed up of living in pain trying to mask myself and act like I am not in pain. I cannot deal with this pain. The drugs aren’t helping. (painkillers that is)
I sound like I’m contradicting myself so here. Let’s say someone ask’s me “So why do you even bother going to a nightclub if you don’t drink? You end up in pain? And you cannot comfortably dance & enjoy yourself?”
The answer : I try & enjoy nights out with my friends, when there is a small crowd its class, when I forget about the pain & shake my ass like there’s no tomorrow. I don’t know would you call it *shaking* or *jiggling*. Ya’ll can be the judge of that. My boyfriend says I have “fomo” syndrome lately. His code for ‘fear of missing out’. I wouldn’t say so, because let’s be honest here, most people ‘miss‘ their own nights out when they head to the club. It’s that I get really low when I am home in bed, by myself, in pain. I am sad, that I cannot be out socializing living life. Generally feeling low. As much as I dislike being in a nightclub sometimes? I still enjoy to be out of bed, in the company of my friends. I like to feel I’m living my life somewhat as a young person. Rather than being old before my time.
In some cases? I am already that, my favorite cake is fruit cake, I love wherthers originals, and I love going to bed early. Mind you my pain has made me more so this way.
Every now and then when I am in a club with hundreds of people, & the majority are tipsy or drunk? I look around and take it in, feeling like I don’t fit in, like I don’t feel I should be here. I question myself “why don’t I want to drink?” So many others do and I don’t?! Sometimes I wish I drank so that I could go out more with friends and feel like I’m experiencing a night out with them, & sometimes I don’t because I get tired & I have witnessed many a terrible incurable hangover… I see drinking as something many people in Ireland & all over the world enjoy, and the fact I just don’t see any appeal in it, makes me over think about myself and just makes me wonder about myself and why I feel the way I feel. Do we all feel f*cked up?
Also, why are most night clubs spelled like ‘niteclub’?