Alanna’s Answer : YES!
This post is based around the topic of women asking men on first dates, texting them first, or even just asking for their number.
It seems like it is a negative thing for a woman to ask a man out. Why? I honestly don’t get it myself. What do you think? Maybe society over the years has influenced this view? The ‘traditional’ approach between a man & woman is for a man to approach a woman first. Many girls/women out there believe the man should ask first, and that’s OK, we are all different & have different views… Thankfully. How boring would it be otherwise?
Lately, it happens more frequently that women ask men out! Be it on a date? For their numbers? Even asking them to be in relationship! I myself have approached many a guy I have fancied. Iv’e been rejected, like, all of us at some point. Yes that hurts & sucks, doesn’t it? I know a lot of women don’t have the confidence to approach men. One fears they’ll be rejected or feel there not ‘good enough‘ for the man they are attracted too. But…ladies what if that man actually likes you back? What if you are both too afraid? I know you may think ‘he wouldn’t go for me‘, but what if he feels the same, thinking ‘she wouldn’t even look twice at me, why bother?’ or he could just generally be oblivious to flirting.
When I told my boyfriend I liked him for the first time? He said he didn’t have the slightest clue I fancied him. “Oblivious” he said! Obviously my moves aren’t up to scratch. I thought he’d have guessed, as a result of all my texts and me talking to him quite frequently, but…he didn’t. So I told him! If I didn’t, because I was too afraid? I wouldn’t be with him now. He’d never have guessed! So my point? If you like someone, whether your a man/woman, if you have feelings for someone and want to see them? Ask them!
I have learned a lot of men go unknown to the fact many women fancy them. This all works both ways of course. A man should approach a girl if he likes her, & vice versa, a woman should approach a man. Why should it only be one way? Only the traditional way? Times are changing as we know. I have heard from many guys that they would only be delighted if a woman approached them first. Are we women intimidating? Yeah, maybe to some men with low confidence. What I’m saying is no matter who you are, if you think your ‘not his/her type‘ or ‘not good enough‘. You are && you could be!
How can you know for sure before you even get to know a person whether you are their type? Go for it! What do you have to lose? Literally, Nothing. You might even feel proud or at ease, it is off your mind. If you don’t do it? You may be full of regret! Which do you choose?
And remember, when on a night out? You may/may not meet your ideal other half. You are in a place where most likely, half the crowd are drunk and are just up for fun. A lot of us believe if a man/woman is talking to you on a night out? They are looking for someone to go home with that one night, the stigma more so hints more towards men though, is that factual? I don’t know, but it’s sexist. I know plenty of nice guys who go out, not to just ‘get the ride’ but to just have a enjoyable night out and maybe get a girls number! Same goes for girls, if their talking to a guy in a nightclub/pub, maybe they are looking for someone to just chat too also. So give it a chance.
Just don’t expect to meet Miss/Mr right at 2 am in the smoking area.
Included Below are some views of the Public on the Topic :
“I have done both on Numerous occasions – i don’t think there is anything wrong with it – I go by the motto god loves a tryer – If you don’t ask you will never find out and you might be waiting ages I’ve also gotten rejected from asking but it didn’t bother me at all. There is no harm in asking. You never know what could be the answer”
“I did and he is the man for me.”
“It’s perfectly fine for both to do it in my opinion For those involved though, It obviously all depends on the different people involved and their own individual personalities. You could have the shy guys who wish and wish that the girls will do it for them, but then this could lead to that guy feeling like less “of a man” or something silly like that because she did the asking (We can be silly proud creatures) or you just have the completely relaxed guy who just goes “Grand, yeah…sorted!”
Some girls then do have the idea that guys should be the ones asking, I guess they have the traditional idea in their heads of guys that they should be the ones ‘taking care of things and getting things done.’
It really all depends on the intricacies of the personalities involved…and all their inherent madness”
“I usually wait until I’m asked because I’m pretty slow to put myself “out there” like that and risk rejection, I can be pretty darn sensitive to that stuff. I justify it by telling myself if they’re interested they’ll take the initiative.
However, if they’re taking too long to ask and/or I’m feeling braver than usual, I take it into my own hands”
“I asked my boyfriend out… Six months together”
“I asked Gary out. It doesn’t make a difference who asks who really. There’s even the whole leap year thing when the 29th of February is the only acceptable time for a woman to propose to a man which I personally think is ridiculous. if a woman wants to ask a man out or propose to him, she should!”
“Perfectly acceptable, lots of guys like a girl to make the first move!! I think there’s too much stigma attached to women not asking men out, or making the first move/any moves at all. You can’t let a guy do all the work I think eventually when you get into a relationship, you know which one would initiate different things, some guys need a prompting, others don’t. Totally depends on the couple and the individuals involved. Looking forward to reading this”
“Equality dictate’s that it should go either way, social order dictate’s the guy should ask first, which in reality is incredibly sexist! I think that it depends on the situation. I don’t believe in the indirect approach where a girl will drop hints for you to ask her out, instead of her asking you out, or even in some cases the other way around”
“Yeah well if that’s what they want then no harm knowing where they stand”
“Yes it should happen both ways. Would make my life way easier if occasionally the girl made the first move”
“I think women can definitely ask a man out if they wanted to. It’s all nice to go down the traditional route but times are changing and doing things differently is always good instead of the norm.”