What do I really want to do this Summer?

Many things. Like most people.

521901507 (1)If I had no limits? NONE AT ALL?

I would go to NYC (Brooklyn) & work in a cafe/bakery during the day (hopefully I’d get a free stale jam doughnut or two to go at the end of the day) && then go to a hip hop dance class in the evening.

Then do the same again the next day, gladly for the whole Summer. I’d love to meet all sorts of new people.

Go to as many acting/singing auditions as possible.

That would be my ultimate dream for this Summer.

So what is stopping you Alanna?


Chronic pain, that is my limit. It affects me in many ways daily. On a day to day basis I can’t stand for too long without hunching over, I need to get friends/family to pop my back daily or I’ll be extremely stiff, my mood drops & changes as some mornings the pain get’s excruciating and I cannot move from my bed, and I begin to feel worthless.

Why do I feel worthless? I cannot be who I want to be, do what I want to do, as the pain stops me as I am physically unable. Back pain, muscle stiffness & stress is the worst thing I suffer from with it, which all relates to Fybromyalgia.

Sometimes... I do feel people don’t fully understand how the pain it affects me. I try my best daily to stay positive and get through each day. I think that out shines how much it affects me, which is a positive.

But . . .those walks? those cycles? those nights out? they are full of pain, it is something I try deal with as best as I can to still enjoy my life though. Which trust me, I do. I have a great life. I have supporters and a loving family surrounding me. I would be upset to think anyone doesn’t understand my pain and think’s I make excuses, or see’s me as someone going nowhere. I try my best at everything I do.

If I went for the ideal Summer Plan of a job in NYC? How can I accept a job when I know I can not put my all into it and will most likely have to quit once I have a bad flare up or a joint that’s not moving. I need a job that requires little physical activity. Which I will get. 

I can’t be in New York and just quit a job, as where will I get the money to keep me going while there?

So. The conclusion to this post? Is basically that I hope people have an understanding that when people suffer from Chronic Pain? The pain is real. It affect’s one daily and the best thing you can do for someone suffering? Is read up, understand their illness/pain & show your support.


Chronic pain is a disease of the central nervous system.  It is defined as “pain without apparent biological value that has persisted beyond normal tissue healing time”. – http://www.chronicpain.ie


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